Why Erik Nichols is Right

Sometime during the course of the summer down in the far away place, I wrote that I had a feeling I would know myself better after this season. I would know more about where I was going and what I was willing to put up with.

One of the biggest revelations for me was the "drink with the drillers" revelation. I spent a far amount of time last season drinking whiskey with the IceCube drillers and I realized I liked it. I like sitting around and drinking with people. When I smoked at Pole I would go up into the bar all the time and do the same. And I have found the best folks with whom to drink are men who have worked a day or two. Interesting, capable women who aren't talking about their men or their children are great too . . . but drinking with old working men is the best it's going to get for me! World-wise, crabby old guys with lots of wild stories, who flirt and laugh at my jokes.

What better?

And for some reason admitting this to myself has been really hard. In America we aren't supposed to like these guys . . . they are "uneducated" useless drunks, dangerous to us somehow. They can't commit. They don't like spending time with their children -- or worse yet, they never had any. They aren't responsible. They don't want to settle down. They work overseas. They DRINK TOO MUCH -- and that is bad for you! Always. Alcohol is always bad. Bad and wrong and dangerous and to be judged and promptly avoided.

We were founded by Puritans, after all.

But I like these guys. I like them a lot. They have more fun. They have better stories to tell. They live more honestly. And because they aren't living like they don't want to, I find they have a lot more integrity than the "good" man. These guys aren't cheating on their wives, because they don't have wives. They aren't hypocrites. They work hard and know what it takes to live. They aren't scared of losing everything because they know they can work hard again and get it all back. They no longer make promises they don't keep and they don't try to win you over with false representation. Not to say they aren't telling great fish stories . . . But they say what they mean, even if you're going to find it offensive. They have seen a thing or two and no longer subscribe to the bullshit. They are road savvy and road weary and because of it, they are tolerant and wise.

And I love this. I feel comfortable here.

Erik Nichols is a young version of these guys. He left his proper, white-shirted engineering job and started working in construction. He's an iron worker. This year he and his crew built a huge telescope, making all kinds of news. And Erik Nichols is known to drink a bit . . . and get rather wild and big and hugs on everyone and laughs really loud. Erik and I have talked about his decision to leave that other world behind, and how his whole family called him up and told him he was ruining his life. He and I have also talked about what it means to be a "grown up" and he poo-poo'ed the entire conversation. He's not interested in "growing up" in the traditional sense of the phrase. Erik seems pretty happy. He has money in the bank and he's traveling the world and he's hanging out with like minded guys who drink and laugh and travel the world as well. What's wrong with that?

Why is leaving corporate America still some kind of revolutionary act? Why is stepping out of the fold seen as so careless? Why is it hard for me to admit I would rather live like these guys? Why is it that Francie and Joel and Glenn and countless others felt perfectly justified calling the IceCube guys drunks, but forgave the younger, party people the same behavior? Frankly, I would rather sit around drinking whiskey with the "drunks" who tell thoughtful and interesting stories and go to bed by nine, than whoop it up with youthful idiots who over-indulge and puke all over each other.

Isn't it interesting that admitting that I see this way of life as one of the most truthful and honest is so hard. So hard to explain to myself or anyone else. So hard to admit that I like drinking whiskey with rough around the edges people. That I am attracted to their devil may care honesty, their fearlessness and their choices to forego what was expected and to honestly admit where best they fit.

Erik Nichols is right. It doesn't matter what "grown up" means. It matters that we make choices for ourselves that fit, whether or not our family will understand.